Friday, June 26, 2009

Clean Sweep

Do you ever just feel like you have too much stuff? I think when things start falling into the "stuff" category, that isn't a good thing. I mean, it's one thing to say I have too many frames...or too many books...too many magazines...but when you have so much of everything that it just becomes "stuff", that is the real problem.

Lately, I have just felt like we are being taken over by stuff...everywhere I turn there is something...things just accumulating...part of my problem is that I'll set something down and swear I'll get to it...but that time never comes. Trying to raise a special needs child and a budding toddler, and being a wife to an overgrown kid himself, lol, it takes time...and energy...and honestly, these days after I've done all that stuff, I leave so much of the cleaning. Don't get me wrong, the dishes will be done and the vacuuming....but those piles of papers, bills, misc mail, catalogs, clothes, etc never seem to get taken care of.

I had no motivation this morning...the house was trashed, and might I add not something I am proud to admit, but trashed nonetheless. I sat at the computer putzing around in order to not have to get up and face the mess.

But I finally did - and boys did I ever tackle it! I've put out numerous bags of trash, bagged up some books for the yard sale, sorted out kids movies we no longer want and plan to put out for the sale, dug out old computer games for the sale, vacuumed, dusted, taken down decor I no longer wanted, done dishes and made the kids supper. It feels good to see so much done....more I'd like to do though! Tonight I will be able to sit down and enjoy myself seeing the house sparking around me!

I urge you to "clean sweep" too...it's such a good feeling...and remember, less is more!

Consequences

As I've mentioned in the past, we struggle with discipline with Trevor. It seems most things don't affect him! It all has to do with the Aspegers and just not being able to make the connection between you did A....now B will happen.

He's been going to vacation Bible school all week...and he's enjoyed it. But this morning he had several meltdowns - resulting in a lot of yelling, screaming, stomping, biting, rage, etc....so I decided to do something that had been recommended to me before, which was to take away something he really likes.

Yes, you guessed it - he's not going to VBS today....he was very upset that he couldn't go, but I stuck to my guns, not about to say yes, even though I knew he was very devastated.

I don't know if this will have any sort of lasting effect, because he's already over the disappointment of not going...guess we'll see how the rest of the day plays out.

Vacuums are making a return....

Sigh...I thought Trevor's vacuum obsession had passed. The obsession started when he was 2 yrs old - at the time, we weren't aware it was part of his Asperger's Syndrome. Trevor had a toy vacuum (that actually did work), he watched vacuum infomercials, he went to the Oreck website...vacuums were his world. After moving up here, the vacuum obsessing seemed to wane and was replaced by an obsession with the computer.

Well, for some reason, two days ago the obsession started again...he's spent all his free time going to the Oreck website...begging for us to buy him an Oreck XL.

I am left wondering how long it will last this time?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Maxi Pads & Diapers

Trevor has been wearing Overnites diapers to bed - he still wets the bed at times - the doctor feels it's because he gets so backed up and it puts pressure on his bladder.

Well, I ran out of diapers for him a couple days ago, so yesterday I told him since he went a couple nights without peeing his bed, that I wasn't going to be buying him any more diapers, he is a big boy!

He was very excited and said, "I can be a big boy like you and daddy"

I said, "yep"

He says, "well you sometimes still wear diapers" - he was referring to my maxi pads. LOL!

So I said, "yes, I sometimes still have to wear diapers"

So he then asked, "how come...you got blood coming out your butt?"

LMFAO! I nearly died laughing!

Needless to say, I changed the subject very quickly, as I didn't want to be having the menstrual discussion with a 5 yr old yet....lol!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Vic & The Dr. Appt.

I took Victoria to the doctor today because we've been having some sleep issues. Perhaps that is the wrong way to word this...maybe what I should be saying is, "we are having not sleeping issues"....lol!

To be perfectly honest, Victoria has never been a top-notch sleeper. We've had issues from the get-go...and we'd have good period and bad periods....but the last few weeks have been pure hell! She's been waking up several times a night, screaming to the top of her lungs. What makes this exceptionally hard is the fact that she sleeps in our room, due to the fact that the house we are renting right now is only a 2 bedroom. She will scream at the top of her lungs for at least 30 minutes at a time. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I made an appointment for her to see her pediatrician...and that was today!

So after describing what was going on, the doctor feels that it is most likely Reflux and prescribed Prevacid. She said we should see some results in a week - I am crossing my fingers, toes and any other body part that one could cross in hopes this is the answer.

Vic is now up to 23lbs....that is so funny because Trevor was 23lbs @ 9 mths old! LOL!! She's such a peanut!

Monday, June 22, 2009

VBS

Trevor went to VBS for the first time today at the church he attends with my family. He seemed pretty pumped for it, till he got there.

There was a pretty big turn-out, not to mention, he was under the impression that my niece would be there, but she is at camp for the summer. I could seem him looking around hesitantly...I could see the nervousness in his eyes.

A young girl came up and asked him what grade he was going in to, and led him by the hand to sit down. My heart was in my throat - would he be ok? They had my number in case of emergency, as well as moms....

My heart sank watching him...it's times like this where his disorder really "shines" through, for lack of a better word. I wanted to scoop him up and protect him. And I really fought with myself on whether to take him home or let him stay.

I was so happy when I went to pick him up at noon and found that he was having a good time. He found some kids from his preschool class and some other kids from church, so at least he "knew" someone.

I left it up to him whether he wanted to go back tomorrow and he said, "yes", so I guess all is ok!

Man...parenting is hard enough...but parenting a special needs child is even harder I dare say...it's a constant roller coaster of emotions, worries, dr.'s appointments, etc.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day...the first Father's Day without my daddy. I can already tell all these "first" holidays are going to be so hard. I miss dad so much! I laid in bed the other night and cried myself to sleep...visions of him at the hospital that final night filling my head...replaying it over and over....wishing I had visited more...wishing I had told him more of my feelings for him.

It's foolish - we live in a world where we always think we have time - time to finish school, time to change careers, time to learn a language, time to play with our children, time to get healthy, time to loose weight, time to tell those we love how we feel....and the reality is, we don't! We never know when our final moment will come or worse yet, when our loved ones final moment will come, and will we have said and done what we wanted to when they are gone? Will we have regrets?!

I have regrets ...I am confident that dad knew how much I loved him but I wish I could have told him before he was gone how much of a hero he was to me...how I loved him to the moon and back...how I admired the type of family man he was...how I have the work ethic I do thanks to him ....how much he taught me about life.

There are no do-overs...no second chances really...what there is, is the here and now. Make the most of it! Hug your kids extra tight! Tell those around you that you love them and what they mean to you! Get healthy! Don't put off living life thinking you'll always have tomorrow!

I'd give anything to be able to sit down with dad right now...to hold his hand one more time...to kiss his face....to hug him...to tell him how much I loved him and that he truly was an outstanding dad ...how my children loved him so much...how Karl admired him...I'd give anything for that...to go back in time for just a bit and see him smiling again....telling his funny stories....laughing....just being dad...

They say time heals all wounds...and I guess only time will tell if that is the case because right now my heart is still in a million little pieces in the pit of my soul.

The other night I was getting Victoria ready for bed and she was asking as she does so often these days where Karl was...so I told her daddy was at work. And then she asked where Trevor was...and I told her he was in the other room. And then she asked where her cousin Katie was, and again, I told her Katie was home. So I then asked her where grampy was...and she clear as a bell replied, "died"...she said it several times. She amazes me with how smart she is already. I asked her is she sees Grampy and she replied, "yes" ...and I said "where" and she pointed to her heart. I began to cry ..and she just patted my arm and face...how sweet the innocence of a child.

Happy Father's Day daddy...wish you were here so I could tell you in person...I miss you so much...love you....xoxo Erin

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Teeth!

Trevor lost his second tooth tonight!

We had gone to the grocery store and he wanted two apples - one for him and one for Vicky...so I said sure.

Well while Karl was grilling supper, Trevor informed me he had a loose tooth. He actually asked me to tie a string to the door handle and pull it for him! LOL!! Sorry kiddo - not into that stuff! LOL!!

I told him that I bet if he ate that apple, he'd loose his tooth! So he sat down to dinner, insisting he have his apple with his supper, and after a few bites, there was that baby tooth!!

He was so excited! He made a wish to the toothfairy - asking for $10 this time! LOL! Needless to say, that won't be happening!

I can't believe my baby is loosing teeth already!!! Where does the time go?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dreams.....

I guess they aren't really dreams, more like nightmares....

I've been having dreams about dad since the day he passed away. At first, I thought it was just cause it was so fresh in my mind, but it's been almost a month now and I am still having these dreams....watching him take his last breath. They are so vivid...so real....I wake up and just lay here and cry...wanting to be able to talk to him just one more time.

I just still can't wrap my mind around the idea he is gone...it just doesn't seem real. I mean, that is my daddy...he's not supposed to be gone....I need him still!

I also had a dream the other night that I was being assaulted ....not something you want to dream about either.

I am not sure what is going on with my brain when I am sleeping, but I don't get much sleep as it is with the kids, I don't need to be having these nightmares either.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Fantastic Giveaway!

My friend Cara opened her own online boutique a year ago - Bubbles and Bows Boutique! She has some fabulous stuff - everything from cloth diapers to custom tutus and everything in between! :-) In honor of the 1 year celebration, Cara is having quite the giveaway! Let's just say there is a $200.00 gift certificate being given away! Isn't that fabulous? Love it!!! Head on over to Bubbles and Bows Boutique blog to read all the details!!! You won't be disappointed!!! :-)