Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What a day!

So for those not in the know, I had a colonoscopy today! It's about as fun as one might imagine! LOL!! I've been suffering for 15 yrs now with stomach issues, and finally it looks like I am getting an answer! The Dr. found I have ulcers in my small intestine - does this surprise anyone? Surely not me! It's not like I haven't had an enormous amount of stress these days...and it doesn't help that I am not one of those laid back people to begin with...I am high strung...sigh! In addition to that, he also believes I have Crohns Disease. He is starting me on a high fiber diet along with a medication. Here is hoping we can get me feeling better!

Let me just say that the prep for the test is way worse than the test itself. It started from the moment I got up yesterday morning, no solids only a liquid diet. Can we say "yum"? yeah, didn't think so! At noon I had to take two Dulcolax tabs, then at 2pm I had to mix a whole bottle of Miralax with a 64oz. jug of Gatorade and drink that and then at 6pm, take two more Dulcolax. Needless to say, I was starving...then I started getting light-headed and weak feeling...I ended up going to bed early because I couldn't handle it anymore.

This morning I had to be there at 7:30am for my test....after some question and answers, I was hooked up to an IV, my bp monitored, given some adorable (read: sarcasm) paper shorts with a trap door, and waited for the big test.

After they wheeled me into the procedure room, I was hooked up to oxygen, and a bp monitor, as well as a monitor for my heart. I laid there watching the lines on the monitor beep along...and immediately I was brought back to just two short months ago - that last night with dad in the hospital...seeing that machine above his bed...watching his heart....seeing the monitor going off...hearing the alarm bells....seeing it flash "extreme tachycardia"....eventually them turning it off and bringing us to that private room to sit with dad till he passed. All those memories flooding back...and here I was laying in the procedure room, waiting for my colonoscopy, and the flood gates opened and I was breaking down. God, why is this still so painful? I miss him more than words! There I laid crying my eyes out, and having to pull myself together before they came in to do the procedure and find me bawling.

Luckily I was put out of the procedure and had no clue what was going on! When they woke me I had a much harder time waking up ...I just rolled over and went back to sleep. Don't get me wrong, the nurses were very nice but at that moment, I wanted to tell them to leave me alone and let me sleep. I kept falling back to sleep...drifting in and out....hardly aware of where I was. They woke me up once again and this time they had me sit up and my siesta was officially over! I felt so woozy and light headed!

The Dr. came out and explained what they found, etc, and I was free to go home! I am glad that part of things is over - now we just wait to see what the results of the biopsy are.

I came home and still didn't feel good - so I laid down for a bit. That was wonderful till the children came home from Nana's house! LOL!! After that the afternoon went downhill even more!

Sigh!

Why is it we seem to have a couple good days with Trevor and then the crap seems to hit the ceiling? He had a total meltdown this afternoon...actually several of them...hit me with a child's play broom...tried to bite me...headbutted me...kicked me in the face....he screamed...he yelled...he spit...the list goes on and on....then he ripped one of Victoria's dresses up....the stress is going to kill me.

If that isn't bad enough, while all this is going on, Victoria latches on to my hand and bites me so hard that I seriously thought I was going to loose some flesh...it hurt like hell! About this time I started having this heavy feeling in my chest...like an elephant was sitting on my chest and strangely enough on my back as well. The feeling wasn't going away...and I began to wonder if it was from the stress? Dinner came and went and I couldn't eat...the pain wasn't going away...by 7pm, I thought I'd end up a the emergency room...now I am struggling to breathe...and starting to panic...don't know if it's the stress or some trapped gas from the procedure earlier in the day. I take a Gas-X strip and in about 30 minutes I am starting to feel better...phew! That was extremely scary...I never want to feel that again!

I've done some reading tonight about Crohns disease....and it appears that stress does indeed make it worse, which leads me to wonder how do *I* destress? I don't know how to begin to do that? I am at a loss....suggestions?

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