So I created this monster...well really we did, meaning Karl and I. I don't recall when exactly, but at some point in the last almost 21 months, we got tired of fighting Vicky for sleep...she'd wake up numerous times a night, really it started out with her needing/wanting to nurse...and frankly, it was just so much easier to bring her to bed with me and let her nurse...I was too afraid I'd fall asleep if I sat up trying to hold her and nurse. Originally, I would put her back to bed after....and then it just became super easy to just leave her there all night and give her access to the dairy bar that were once my breasts. Yes, yes, I know it's lazy, but when you have another child in the mix who doesn't sleep either, you hit survival - do or die mode... and in order for us to get some sleep, this was it.
At 16 months, we weaned - not because either of us really wanted to, but because I needed to be on some medication and I am not comfortable taking medication while nursing. At first, I'd have to wait for her to fall asleep in my arms and then transfer her to her crib...eventually she'd wake and I'd just bring her to sleep with us. At some point I got this idea to put her right in her crib but sit on the bed reading or using the laptop till she went to sleep...we don't talk, we don't make eye contact, but it makes her feel comfortable that I am there, and honestly it doesn't take more than 15 minutes usually and she's out like a light.
In the past couple months she's been waking a lot....she had been going 12 or so hours straight, but then that all stopped...and so I've been bringing her back to bed with us even more...sigh....amazing what you'll do for sleep!
Last night she woke up around 11pm-ish and into our bed she came - along with her two small pillows and two blankets....yes, she comes loaded with everything! LOL!! She curls up next to me, snuggled into my arm and body and off to sleep she goes. Now part of me doesn't mind it, because honestly, it's about the only time I get the cuddles - normally, she's much too busy for mama. The other part of me does mind, because when she's in bed with us, I have to lay in the same position all night to make sure she doesn't fall or that we don't roll onto her obviously...so by the time morning rolls around, my back is killing me...and then there is the issue of her waking up around 5am...yes 5am....and she wakes up raring to go...she isn't one of those kids who needs time to wake up, oh no, she's on full blast from the minute her eyes open! LOL!! She'll bounce on me...she'll tickle me...she'll just generally annoy me till I finally relent...and up we get....now I admit, I do usually try to get her to lay there for a bit, but I am not usually successful! This morning we got out of bed before 6am....sigh....and this my friends, is why I am in love with coffee....the sweet goodness that is coffee....my secret love affair....with a packet of equal and a bit of 1/2 and 1/2 and it's a little bit of wonderful in a cup...funnily enough, my mug has a picture of a woman dusting and vacuuming and it says, "Just because I'm a family raising, meal cooking, homemaking wonder, doesn't mean I'm a desperate housewife"...lol....I tell you what, with no sleep, I am pretty desperate, despite what the mug may say! LOL!!
Ok...really must get motivated. I have much housework and laundry to do...but with two cups of coffee under my belt already, I think I can muster up enough energy to get started...though I admit, I am so glad there is much more still in the coffee pot. You know for years, I've tried to convince Karl of the wonders of a morning cup of coffee, but he doesn't buy it...he likes his coffee super sweet and super light...and on a day like today, when I have a headache and was woke up early, I am glad that I have no one to share my sweet relief with! ;-)