Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Taking a break....

This morning I decided I needed a break from the message boards I visit, as well as Facebook...too bad I didn't adhere to that completely...I went to one of the message boards and got highly pissed off....more about that later...

Anyways, we are going through a bit of a rough patch right now...actually it's been that way for a while now. As I've mentioned before, this move of ours has been a complete disaster! Anyways, Karl was sick last week - 3 days - do you know what that does to ones paycheck when they have no sick time? Yep! You guessed it! Let's just say that his check was around $275 short...it just causes more stress to my life that I don't need right now. Things have already been tight, because his dream job turned out to be a flop - I mean you hire someone promising them so many hours - basically guaranteeing that they will get said hours and then a couple months later, you take those hours away and then some....wonderful! So I am just down right now...and I figured it was best to walk away from the sites I visit regularly...to take a break...don't need to bring anyone else down...not to mention I've had several people make mention of all my "status messages" and the problems I have....to that I say, if you don't like it, don't read it...keep going...what good comes from telling me it seems like I've got a lot of problems....why not try being encouraging instead? You deal with being short on rent and other bills, having a special needs child, living somewhere you didn't want to be, and having health issues, and then tell me how freaking jolly you feel! Sigh....so, like I said I decided to step back....

Unfortunately , that didn't work too well...I ended up going to one of the message boards I visit, which happens to be a debate board...and got sucked in to a parenting debate. Oh joy!!!

The debate stems from a woman misusing a harness on her toddler and dragging said child around a Verizon store. So here is the thing, I don't agree with using it in that manner - it obviously wasn't intended to be used to drag children around on their backs. Now, I fully realize not everyone will use one or like them, but when someone starts getting nasty and starts drawing comparisons between using a harness on a child and a leash on a dog, I get pissed...no, not just pissed, I get downright angry. If you don't like them, fine, don't use it. But by no means, do not insinuate that those who do, lack control of their children or want to treat their child like a dog. And don't go on touting about the use of your stroller, because let's face it, using a stroller to confine a child is no different then me using a harness.

First off, let me clear something up...ignorance about the harness, has lead people to refer to it as a leash. It is not a leash! To call it such, shows how uneducated someone is about them and their use. They are a "child safety harness"...not a leash!

We all talk about what we will and will not do when we have children, and let me say, that all goes out the window when your own child actually comes along. Things you swore you'd never do, you do! And the things you thought for sure you'd do, you find you don't! So before you go spouting off about how horrible harness's are, try having a child first and see what it's like.

I had a harness for Trevor - it looked like an animal-shaped back pack! He loved it! We didn't use it for every outing by any means, but anywhere there was a large crowd where he could have easily slipped from our hands or been grabbed, etc. It gave him the ability to walk and not always be cooped up in the stroller and gave us a better feeling that as we walked along, he could not take off on us. We didn't put the harness on, so that we could treat him like a family pet. We did not put the harness on him so that we could ignore him. We did not put the harness on him because we were too lazy to teach him how to walk next to us or hold hands. We did not put the harness on him because we were bad parents. We put the harness on him because we loved him enough to be able to admit that he was a difficult child and that we wanted to do whatever we could to add protection when we were out. Trevor is 5.5 yrs old now, and of course, he no longer needs a harness, he stays close to us, but I have no regrets using it back then. No it didn't give me a false sense of security....instead it was just another layer of safety - a tool...and in all reality, no different that buckling a child into a stroller - the only difference is one allows the child to stretch their legs and walk (esp. w/out having to hold their poor little arm up in the air holding onto mom or dads hand) and the other keeps them sitting.

This is one of those topics I am so passionate about - I get so tired of people inferring that people who use them are bad parents or treating their child like an animal. So here is the thing, if you don't like them, fine, but don't go calling them a leash or telling people it's like treating a child like a dog, etc....that is just plain ole' ignorant!

Oh how I wish I hadn't gone and read that...makes my blood boil just to think about it....sigh....

Off to get some coffee and relax....hey, who knows...maybe taking a break will give me the chance to do more reading right now. If you don't see me in my usual haunts, you know you can always find me here....I'll still be posting on my blog!

See ya....

1 comment:

  1. Oh Erin . . I too had harnesses for the boys for all the same reasons you did x 2! They loved them and still do. Everytime I put one of them on M - the boys talk about when we used to walk the beach with M in the front pouch and them on their harnesses..such memories of how many people stopped to say it was great!

    Take a step back . . you don't need the stress/aggravation of ignorant people! I know where to find you . . email me if you need to vent.

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