It took us years to be able to have children...we had been together 10 years by the time Trevor was born. I had always wanted children - imagined them when I was younger. I never imagined my life without children to be honest. I wasn't one who contemplated children, it was never a matter of if, it was a matter of when. It then took us another almost 4 yrs before Victoria was born. No, the gap wasn't planned, it just seems my body had other plans. I suffer from Endometriosis - one of the leading causes of infertility for women. The doctor who originally diagnosed it, said the chances of ever having children was slim....very slim. It was hard to hear that. You go through all these different stages - denial, anger, jealousy, and finally acceptance. It was when I finally accepted things that we found ourselves pregnant. Life really has a way of being funny with us, doesn't it?
With Victoria, when we realized nothing was happening again on our own, we sought out the help of my OB/GYN and he sent us for blood work(me) and Karl for a SA (semen analysis)...and before we even had the results back, guess who ends up with a positive pregnancy test? Yep! Me!! Again, life just likes to throw those curves at us! LOL!
I've never been happier in my life to be sick all the time...I've never been happier to be gaining weight ...I've never been happier to go to the doctor every time I turned around...pregnancy was an amazing time in my life. Knowing that finally my body was doing this...that I was growing a baby inside me...well, I just can't find the appropriate words for it. It's really mind blowing!
Seems like it was just yesterday...and yet here in just two short months, Victoria will be turning 2 years old. My baby is growing up and way faster than I'd like her to be. She has blossomed into this little person, full of sass, attitude, curls, giggles, kisses and grins...oh yes, and a few bites thrown in for good measure. And then there is Trevor, the boy who dazzled us from the moment he left the comfort of the womb...and now he'll be 6 years old in February. I can't believe I am the mother of an almost 6 year old. Didn't I *just* have that positive pregnancy test?
I sat here today with Victoria, Trevor was in his room playing, and she brought paper and a crayon to me, and asked me to write, "my baby"....she is always asking us to write "my baby"....I am not sure the significance of "my baby", but who am I to question it? And while I wrote "my baby" for her, she turned around and kissed me...those little adorable lips planted a big, ole' wet kiss on mine and my heart melted for the millionth time. There is just something about those little kisses that just turn me into a mushy mess. And at that moment, I thought about how lucky I am that I have two wonderful, amazing children to love me? I mean, out of all the people in the world, they were given to me, and I get to be the recipient of all those hugs and kisses and overflowing love? Little ole' me! Who would have thought it all those years ago when that doctor said slim chance, that one day I'd be so lucky to have the love of not one, but two children in my life?
I am not a scientist, I am not a brain surgeon, I am not a politician, I am not a policewoman, I am not a lawyer, I am not a sports star, I am not an actress or a singer....I am just me...Erin...and yet, I was blessed with two incredible children....and that makes me so incredibly grateful and happy!
James Taylor had it right when he sang, "how sweet it is to be loved by you".....having these two children love me is beyond sweet!!!