Thursday, October 29, 2009

Having second thoughts...

I picked up Victoria's prescription today that the ENT Dr. prescribed - she is to take it 4 times a day for 3 weeks. The script is for Keflex - an antibiotic to treat bacterial infections. In addition to that, he wants us to also give her Sudafed every day.

The more I think about this, the more it doesn't sit right with me. I've only given her the one dose of Keflex as of now, but I just have this nagging in the back of my mind. For starters, when I read all the possible side effects, that right there left me uneasy. I mean, she is just about to be 2 yrs old - can we really expect her to tell us if she is dizzy, has an upset stomach, dry mouth, or any of the other numerous possible complications from taking this medicine? UGH!

But the thing that gets me is, he never tested her for anything - so why treat her with an antibiotic simply because her tonsils and adenoids are swollen? I mean, three weeks of medication and what if it doesn't make a damn bit of difference? I don't like the idea of pumping my kids full of unnecessary medications. I mean, Trevor takes his medications daily, but they are completely necessary for him. This to me just seems like a shot in the dark.

What happens when she really needs an antibiotic but her body has built up this resistance to them because she was on this one for so long with no real reason?

At this point, I think I'd rather just get the referral to the pediatric specialist and see what he has to say.

Why can't parenting be easy? Am I wrong to go with my gut? Sigh....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Victoria & The ENT

Victoria has been having sleep issues for quite a while now - she snores very loudly - and often during her sleep, she acts like she's stopped breathing - and then gasps for a breath. I took her to the doctor a few weeks ago and we found out that her tonsils are quite enlarged - nearly touching and her adenoids are huge and can be seen quite easily - normally they shouldn't be visible.

So the pediatrician referred us to an ENT to see about removing her tonsils and adenoids. Today we had the appointment!

Firstly, I should say we waited almost an hour to even be seen - how annoying to sit there waiting and waiting! Why do doctors do this? If you are late, they want to charge you and reschedule you, but if they are late, no one tells you and just expects you to sit there waiting for as long as it takes! GRRR!!!

Anyways, he took a look at her throat and nose and ears - said that while they are quite enlarged, there is still a tiny bit of room left. He will not do surgery on a child this age. If we want to pursue this, he will refer us down to Portland to see a Pediatric Specialist who will do the surgery on a child that age. And he can also send us down to Portland for a sleep study as well. So for three weeks, he's put her on Keflex (sp?) and Sudafed and saline wash, and we go back in 6 weeks. Then we can decide from there what we want to do. UGH!!

I haven't had a chance to talk to Karl yet, but I am leaning to taking her down to see the specialist and have the surgery. I want her to be able to sleep again - not just for my own sake, but most definitely for her own sake! She's not getting good sleep at all. I just can't believe once again we are faced with having to travel 5 hours each way to get the care we need!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Thankful....part one

In 2001, during our struggle to get pregnant, I stumbled upon a parenting website. At the time I used it mostly for it's conception tools - like a calendar, etc. In 2003, when I finally found myself pregnant, I joined the message boards. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine what would take place over the next 6 years.

I've been to this website almost daily for the past 6 years - shared two pregnancies - many struggles - lots of heartache like when my dad passed away and when I learned Trevor had Aspergers Syndrome - shared joys like my children's first tooth or first steps, etc. I've debated the hottest of topics from religion to abortion. I've expanded my mind - become more accepting of those with differing opinions, etc.

The absolute greatest thing to have come from my time there is the friendships I have formed. See, I went there in the beginning merely for information, never expecting to make these friendships - it was the bonus on the cake so to speak!

I look at my Facebook page and see the 183 friends I have and I dare say 95% have been made through the parenting website. It's amazing the bond that can be formed with a group of women you haven't actually met in person!!

Over the years, I've watched as this website has gone through numerous changes, and lately they seem to have been for the worst....things just aren't the same there....and that bums me out....but at the same time I am so thankful for the gifts of friendship I have received thanks to it. How could I ever hate a place that brought me some of my most dear and precious friends? I can't! It's impossible!

I've been lucky enough to have met a few of them in person - hey Heather, remember visiting right after Victoria was born? :-) And come hell or high water, I will get to meet more of them - it's just a matter of time!

I admire so many of these women - the wealth of knowledge they bring to the table - the years of experience - the humor - the genuine kindness - trust me, nothing goes unnoticed and I can't begin to tell how appreciative I am!

Each and everyone of you mean something to me. I am so thankful to call you my friends!!! I love you all!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Scare for the day....

and to think Halloween is a few weeks away....sigh....

We were in the mall today and went to look at vacuums, per Trevor's request. Trevor turns the corner and admittedly we assume he's gone to the next aisle to look at the other ones. So we go around the corner and no Trevor...panic sets in...we look down and here comes Trevor, his hands over his mouth, his face red from fear, his eyes wet with tears....you could see the distraught and panic in his eyes...he was so scared he wasn't even seeing us though we were right ahead of him clear as day...and finally he heard us say his name...and he came running, collapsing against me crying.

In that one brief moment our whole world could have drastically changed forever....I shudder to even think about it...thoughts of little Adam Walsh race through my head...28 years ago he was taken from a Sears and murdered. I get goosebumps when I stop and think about the disaster that we could have been facing today....it has to be one of a parents worst nightmares.

As Trevor was walking towards us, I saw a Sears employee staring at all of us...watching....it wasn't a look of concern...it was the look of judgement...trust me, I've become quite good at reading people....did she once stop to help him....nope she just glared at us....instead of judging us for doing what so many parents do on any given day...which is let their 5.5 yr old walk ahead of them in a store....and dare I even say, turn into the next aisle before them, stop and help the child you see wandering the store, hands over face, bawling his eyes out.

I remember when I was about that age, hiding in a rack of clothing when out shopping with my mom....when I came out and thought I had lost her, I remember the sheer panic in my little mind and body....it's a paralyzing fear...I am so sorry lil buddy...sorry you had to even think for one second we were gone.....mommy loves you!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Caught blindsided!

Yesterday morning I was washing breakfast dishes and Trevor came up to me and said, "mom, why do some kids have two mommies?"

For a moment, if felt like the wind had been knocked out of my sails. Now don't get me wrong, I honestly don't mind the question itself, I just didn't imagine he'd ask me it at 5.5 yrs old!

Immediately my mind went to one place....SCHOOL. See, here in Maine there is a question in the upcoming elections about gay marriage and there are all these commercials from both sides ...but the ones that get me are the commercials from the opposition about how if we allow this they will teach our children homosexuality in school. I despise the idea that any teacher would allow themselves to participate in these commercials, no matter what side they take. I think teachers need to keep their political beliefs to themselves.

Now, I know it's been years since I was in school, but I was never taught about straight marriage, so why would we suddenly start teaching about gay marriage simply because the law allows gays and lesbians to marry?

I will say once again, I support gay marriage. Allowing two people of the same sex to marry doesn't change my marriage - for those who say that it affects their marriage, well then I say you have much bigger problems and don't have a great marriage to begin with. When my neighbors, heterosexuals, got married, it didn't change anything, and neither will allowing gays to marry.

Anyways, so I asked Trevor where he heard this and he pointed across the street where two women were waiting for the school bus with two small children. Whether they are gay or not, I haven't a clue...we just moved here. So I explained to Trevor that they might just be friends, they might be sisters, roommates, neighbors. And then I explained to him that sometimes women fall in love with other women the way I love daddy. And that sometimes men fall in love with other men, just like how daddy loves me. And I left it at that!

And for now, he was ok with that answer. He didn't pursue it anymore. I think I handled it ok, especially since I didn't have any time to really think about a good answer. I know it goes against everything I was ever taught growing up....and goes against pretty much everything my family continues to believe, but my heart will not allow me to discriminate against two people simply based on their sexual preferences. I can't predict my childrens future...I have no crystal ball that will allow me to see what my children grow up to be....but I can't in good conscience be intolerant of gays and lesbians when I have no idea of what my children may be. I don't want my kids to grow up having heard me make fun of gays and lesbians and discriminating against them in the event that one of them is gay. I want my children to grow up knowing a mom who is full of love and acceptance.