I know I've been blogging about other things and some may be wondering why I haven't mentioned Trevor coming home and the simple truth is, it's been a rough go already and I just didn't have it in me to blog about something so serious yet.
We picked Trevor up at 10:00am yesterday morning and he was happy and excited to be going home. Before we left the center, they reminded him of the rules that he needed to continue following at home. He smiled and repeated them and promised he'd follow them. And we walked out of there with smiles on our faces.
On the ride home, I gave him more cards that had arrived from friends (this would be a good time to thank Amanda L, Mindi, Danielle H, Sharon, Leigh and Rachel for the cards and or gifts. He was thrilled that so many people thought of him for his birthday this year!) We went to and ran some errands and he used his gift card to get himself a school bus he wanted. He's been obsessed with school buses ever since starting kindergarten this year. I admit the one he got is a bit young for his age, but it's what he wanted and it made him happy, and really, isn't that what it's all about? After , we took the kids and went out to a restaurant for lunch. Trevor was not thrilled with the idea at all, but after a coaxing and explaining, he realized he had no choice and this is what the family was doing. (Might I mention I had some yummy fried scallops?!) After lunch, we went to another store and picked up a few things. And then we went home.
We had been home a couple hours at best, when Trevor came downstairs from playing with his new bus, and asked to go out to the neighbors house two doors down to see if his little "friend" could come out and play. I wasn't keen on the idea seeing as how he just got home after being gone a week and really I just wanted family time, so I passed the buck onto daddy and told him to ask daddy. Truth be told, being the bad guy gets old after a while. Daddy told Trevor no and Trevor was not happy to say the least. We reminded Trevor about the rules and what he is to do when he gets angry, but he was not interested in doing any of that. While my back was turned tending to Vicky and Karl was upstairs, Trevor took off out the back door and around the building. Karl ran downstairs to stay with Vicky while I ran out after Trevor. He was around front now at the neighbors door. He tried to push his way into their house - talk about embarrassing. He threw himself around on the ground. He screamed. He cursed. He bit me. He scratched my arm up and down to the point that some of the scratches were bleeding. I had to lift his 74lbs of dead weight and bring him back into our house. (Probably why I have such a backache today.) He got in here and proceeded to attempt to throw the desk chair around, act like he was going to thrash the new keyboard, call 911 (I managed to get the phone away before he did.) Again, we reminded him of what he needs to do to cope and calm down, but he just continued to throw his fit.
I called the crisis center to ask what are we supposed to be doing in this situation and they said time-outs. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a 74lb child in a time out? They said to put him in his room. That would require carrying him up the stairs to his room, as he's not going to willingly go to a time-out when he's in the midst of one of his fits. Then he throws himself in front of the door and so it's a battle to get him moved enough to close the door. Then when the door is closed, he throws shoes at it, pounds on it, kicks it, yells, screams, curses, etc. I explained to them that we rent and I can't afford to buy new doors, etc, but they said we really must do what we can to ignore him during this time. I won't lie, ignoring him damaging property that is not ours is extremely hard to do. Sigh! It was a long afternoon to say the least.
I went to bed last night feeling rather defeated. I try and I try and I try and yet I can't seem to get through to him. I get accused of being too soft...I get accused of being too hard on him....how can I be both?
Today I had my mom (who I am still incredibly angry with but that is a whole other blog post) watch Victoria while I took Trevor out for the day for some one on one time. Karl was busy at home putting together some furniture we got for our bedroom and rearranging stuff, so I figured if we were all out of his hair, it would be easier on him.
Trev and I went to the mall and he was able to get himself something from the dollar store with some money he had. He's thrilled with dollar store shopping - doesn't take much to please him in that sense. Of course, once he was done buying what he wanted, he wanted to go home. But I had other plans that included walking every inch of our "huge" (NOT) mall. (I'll have to blog about my deals in another post) He got himself lunch...and I got myself something...had I known he still had so much money leftover, I would have made him treat me! LOL!! We went grocery shopping after the mall. All in all, it went well and we had a pretty good time. No major meltdowns or anything like that. But see, he's always fairly good in public and just one on one. Unfortunately life isn't always one on one...sigh....
He had a bit of athis evening after supper when he was told he couldn't vacuum nor could he stay up. I admit the one thing I am a major stickler on is bedtime. I very rarely stray from the kids set bedtime. I others think I am crazy because my kids go to bed early but I my kids and the times they get up and if I don't get them into bed when I do, they are worse off. Luckily it didn't last too long and he was asleep.
My fingers are crossed for a good day tomorrow....