I am reading this book...ok, truth is I am reading three books right now, and all of them are about Autism/Aspergers Syndrome. But this one book in particular is just hitting home so much for me. It's called, "The Asperger Parent - How to Raise a Child with Asperger Syndrome and Maintain Your Sense of Humor" by Jeffrey Cohen.
So there I am today reading today and this totally hits me:
"You aren't a failure because you can't cope with every situation, or even because you can't cope with any situation at the end of a long day."
"It's so challenging," says Dr.Baker. "You can't fall into the trap of overgeneralizing that you're a bad parent because of one or two incidences or worse yet, that you're a bad person and an incompetent person. A lot of losing your temper comes from feeling powerless and incompetent. .....It' isn't about you being a bad parent; it is the normal course."
Oh how I needed to hear this, or in this case, read this. I've been feeling like a bad parent and incompetent for so long now, reading that this is normal is refreshing and validating! Reading that not always being able to cope with every situation or any situation is normal. Wow! This is so powerful!
Several weeks ago there was an incident where several of my "friends" were saying things about me and my parenting....I wish I could have had this then ....to show them this is normal....to show them I am not the bad parent they made me out to be. Until you've walked a mile in someone elses shoes, you can't even begin to imagine what it is like. And even if you do have a child who has the same diagnosis, there is no guarantee our children will have experienced the same things.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has a child with Aspergers.