Sunday, March 7, 2010

Regrets?

Do you have regrets? Do you live your life with regrets?

As many of you may know depending on how long you've been reading my blog, my dad passed away last May. I am still very much struggling with that. I'd be lying to say that every day isn't a struggle when it comes to it. My dad was my hero - the sun rose and set with my dad. He was the best father a girl could ask for.

I was out today taking a ride and thinking about dad.

We knew he was sick - we knew the end was just a matter of time - and yet I thought I had time to tell him how I really felt. I thought I had time to express just how much he meant to me. I thought I had time to take pictures of him. I thought I had time, but the reality is, there is never enough time. I had 33 yrs with my dad, and it wasn't enough time. I want more pictures. I want more memories. I want more conversations. But that isn't possible.

Looking back to those last weeks of his life, we'd visit him in the nursing home and several times I brought the camera with me but didn't really take many pictures of him because I knew he didn't like have his picture taken and I didn't want to disturb him. And I assumed we'd have time to do it another day. At that time I wanted to sit down and put pen to paper and tell him how much he meant to me - how he was my hero - how I judge every man against him - and I never did it because I assumed I'd have time to do it.

Life is so precious. Life is entirely too short. Even if we live to a ripe old age, its still isn't long enough for our loved ones.

I had 33 wonderful years to have my dad. I am thankful for each and every one. But I regret not doing the things that I thought there would be time for.

I think of sweet little Layla Grace, the two year old from Texas that is dying from Neuroblastoma. Two years old - Vicky's age. As I said, life is just never long enough.

Not one of us knows what the future holds - we have no idea if when we get up tomorrow if it will be our last time - we don't know if the next time we go to the doctor, if we'll get bad news - we don't know if the next time we get in the car, it will be the last time. I urge you not to live with regrets. Life is short. Make sure to tell your loved ones that you love them - tell them what they mean to you! Don't assume that you'll have tomorrow - tomorrow may not happen. Spend time with your kids - leaves the dishes (this is my own personal vice). Talk with your spouse - that TV show can wait. Call your friends/family - make sure you tell them you love them before you hang up.  Take care of yourself. Live each day to it's fullest!!!


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