Monday, August 13, 2012

Resurrection & The Last Supper....this isn't what you think it is!

Let me just start by saying, if you came here looking for a religious post based on my title, you are going to be sorely disappointed. This has absolutely nothing to do with religion at all. Sorry 'bout that!

So what is the resurrection? Me resurrecting this blog from the black hole it's been in for several...ahem...more than several months now. There are just not enough hours in the day sometimes. Combine that with the fact that I get hyper-focused on one thing and then everything else goes to the back burner.

So here I am...back to bore you with all sorts of nonsense...lol....



So by now you are wondering what is the deal with the "Last Supper"?

Well here goes....two weeks from tomorrow I will be having Gastric Bypass Surgery. I've mentioned it briefly here and there on this blog, but I haven't really come out and said too much. To be absolutely honest, I haven't wanted to deal with all the naysayers, the gossipers, the know-it-alls, etc...I haven't wanted to listen to people telling me that this was the easy way out, or that I could die, or any other nonsense.

This is something I have been considering for 3 years now. This is not something I went into lightly. In January of this year, I was accepted into the Bariatric Weight Loss Program at Eastern Maine Medical Center. I then began the process to qualify for the surgery which included monthly appointments with my own physician, loosing some weight on my own, seeing a nutritionist, physical therapist, psychologist, going to numerous support group meetings and nutrition meetings. Since May we've made about 5 or 6 trips down to Bangor to attend these appointments/meetings.

Last week I received word that I had been approved for my surgery. Last Thursday I got the call telling me it was scheduled for Tuesday, August 28th. For two weeks before the surgery I have to be on a high protein liquid diet - consisting of protein shakes, sugar free jello, light yogurts, light soups, etc. This is to not only have more weight loss but also shrink the liver and other organs a bit that tend to be enlarged in the obese person.

So tomorrow is my two week mark - hence, tonight being my "last supper". Realistically, it's not my last supper...I'll have food again...but just not for quite some time.

I've made a lot of little changes along the way in preparation of the surgery - giving up soda, cutting back on my coffee (caffeine), switching to skim milk in my coffee instead of half/half, drinking skim instead of 2% milk, taking 30 minutes to slowly chew my foods and eat my meals, not drinking with my meals, etc.

I am sure some are reading this wondering why I didn't get off my fat ass and just work hard? Oh how I wish it was that simple. Really. I do. I have struggled since junior high with my weight. It's been an ongoing up-down yo-yo of high's and low's. Over this past year with the knee surgery and hysterectomy, it's been a hellish battle and despite trying very hard, I haven't been very successful...at least not enough to put me in a healthy weight range and give me back my life. The fact of the matter, this surgery is a tool. A tool that I must use properly in order to loose weight, get healthy and lead the life I've been dying to have again. But as with any diet tool, if used improperly you will fail.

I do not expect to come out of this a size 4 with a toned body. I am simply looking to be active again - to be able to work my knee again and strengthen it - to be the mom running around with the kids instead of the mom huffing and puffing on the sidelines - to be able to sleep without the cpap machine - to learn to finally swim - to ride a bike again - to run - to go on hikes - to ride the fair rides - to go horseback riding - oh the list goes on and on. I am doing this for me. I am doing this for my family. I am doing this so that in 40 yrs from now I am still alive and able to watch my grandchildren run around.

I am in the homestretch now...doesn't seem possible but in just two short weeks I will be headed down to Bangor to have my surgery. It is Karl's birthday that day - I joke that from now on, we'll have two reasons to celebrate that day! :-) He's been such a support and trooper through this whole process and I thank him for that.

My kids have also been great dealing with babysitters while we go away for this day trips down to Bangor. I know it's a lot of change for them as well...esp. Trev. With his special needs, he struggles with changes and so this has been hard for him to accept - he's afraid I won't look the same. I've explained to him that I will still be me, just a bit smaller. Vicky is so excited - she asked me if we would be twins now! HA!

So that is what is going on in my life...along with a myriad of other things. I ask if you read this and are bothered by what I am doing, to please keep it to yourself. I am looking for support during this time, not negativity. I just ask that you respect my decision, while it might not be one you would make, understand it's the best one for *me*. Thanks!










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2 comments:

  1. Yay! You have a blog. I'm so happy for you. If you need anything when you get home (or before)just let me know. :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story with us. Sending you best wishes and strength as you continue your journey.

    ReplyDelete